Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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