I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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