Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
