What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
