dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
