we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
3 2 1 whiskey
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
