so that wasnt chicken after all
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
