Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Randomize
