dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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