so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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