My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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