I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
