when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
