you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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