you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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