somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
