i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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