Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
