Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
