Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
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