you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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