So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
