who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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