i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
