Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
this is an emotional support booty call
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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