Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
