I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
