I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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