I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize