I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize