So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
