loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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