is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
