If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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