how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
