Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I'm both gender and math confused
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
