so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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