I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
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