yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
