I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He has the fingertips of a God
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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