no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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