That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize