dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
