you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
