She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
