I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize