You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
