i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
