This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Randomize
