I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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