we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
