I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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