i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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