This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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