1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
