wanna go halves on a baby?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
